https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/bkfgTSHhm3mqxgTmw/loudly-give-up-don-t-quietly-fade
When we ask n people to do something, its ironically less likely to happen than asking a specific person. Asking a crowd to call 911 is probably worse than pointing to someone and telling them to call 911. In my experience, its always works better to message people individually than ask a group chat a question/favor. This is called the Bystander Effect.
Screwtape proposes that I count to 3 and either announce that I'm going to do X or announce that I won't. This strategy would definitely make me take action in scenarios I otherwise won't. I would be worried about being perceived as a no-man if I'm constantly saying I can't do things in response to group-wide favor requests while others are silent, or alternatively over-burdening myself with them if I frequently do decide to take action.
He states a further consequence of the Bystander Effect is that if I then fail to take action, everyone else will think the situation has been handled and will not take action even if they otherwise would have; I think this would happen even if you asked people one-by-one; once someone responds affirmatively the asker would usually tell everyone else its taken care of. So I disagree that bystanders are what cause this.
Screwtape concludes that we should tell others if we volunteer to do something and fail to do it. I agree as its inevitable we'll have to tell them later, and disappointment seems to compounds over time (hence we should 'rip the band-aid off').
Furthermore, he says I should appreciate when someone tells us they failed to do something. I think its okay to feel disappointed, but we should express gratitude to them for taking the courageous route given the circumstance and helping us minimize fallout/debt. This will also help them feel comfortable telling me about a similar future situation. Furthermore, I want to ideally always see the good in things as it leads to a happier life.